Do you love me?

Valentine’s Day is a day to bring out our insecurities. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me …. I remember the trauma of being in the Brownies, making our Valentine cards and being asked to share who our card was for. I mentioned a guy in my class not realising that his sister was part of the group so she ran straight away to tell him. My lovely card with a scrunched-up-tissue-paper-balls-heart was never delivered. The shops are full of fancy cards, fluffy toys and every other thing you might need while making a grand gesture of love, but really how many of these grand gestures are declarations of love and how many are really questions. Do we say: ‘I love you’, or are we really asking ‘Do you love me?’ How many times when we declare our love to another are we declaring a fact and how many times are we seeking their reassurance.

My husband asked me to be his Valentine with some lovely smelling roses and some yummy tasting chocolates. As I was about to drive out of the driveway he stopped me and fixed the locks on my car doors – that is really Ramos speak for ‘I love you’, more so than flowers and chocolates. It is in the real everydayness of life that ‘I love you’ has meaning, not in the extravagant grand gestures. I’ve noticed the same in scriptures. Yes, God extravagantly loves us through the death of his son on the cross, but it is also in the everydayness. I have been teaching a class on Romans and in prep this weekend I got caught up in this verse:

Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Part of the Holy Spirit’s ministry to us is to assure us of God’s love.

 God knows that we are insecure, that we have been hurt and disappointed, just as we have hurt and disappointed others. So he has tasked the Holy Spirit to be that everyday quite voice in our hearts that whispers each day to us: Yes I love you, Yes I love you. So in the days when the grand spectacular signs of love are missing, in the humdrum ordinariness of life, God reassures us, even if you do see something big today, ‘Yes I love you’. And with God I love you is a fact, not a question.

10 Replies to “Do you love me?”

  1. Stopped over from Michelle’s place–nice to meet you. I completely agree with your take on the multitude of practical, everyday ways our husbands show their love and care for us. I, too, need eyes to see my Father’s love in the same ways–caring for me in the everyday ways I need, not necessarily the chocolate and roses kind that I want. Blessings.

  2. I really love this — and I agree with Nancy: practical trumps fluffy romantic in my book any day (I wrote a post last week about my husband warming up my side of the bed at night!).

    I’m sure I’ve read that Romans verse more than once…but it has never struck me as it did just now. This line in particular: Part of the Holy Spirit’s ministry to us is to assure us of God’s love.

    You are right…we are an insecure people…we need that reminder from the Holy Spirit again and again.

    Thank you SO much for linking up at my place today — so lovely to read these heartfelt words!

  3. I love your takeaway from that Roman’s verse. Like Michelle, I’ve never read it quite that way. And I love the idea that part of the Holy Spirit’s work in us is to remind us of God’s love. (Just as Jesus did in physical form, yes?)

    Thanks for visiting my place today. I’m so glad you linked up at Graceful so we could meet!

  4. Can I just tell you how much I love this post? I read it to my daughter this morning as she was getting ready for her college classes. I especially love that last paragraph. Wonderful images, wonderful truth here.

  5. I’m visiting from Michelle’s and so glad you linked up there! I needed this. I tend to miss the practical displays of love. I like the grand gestures with orchestral stanzas rising up in the background. But – more often than not – it’s the roof over my head, the running water, the right amount of air pressure in the tires on my car. Recognizing these gifts is a gift all its own.

  6. That is a truth my heart still struggles with at times. My God loves me…not, my God loves me?

    Thanks for sharing!

    Ps. My husband speaks the same language of love.

  7. I love the line “That is Ramos speak for I love you”. Isn’t that true? I really need to tune into my husband’s speak for “I love you” instead of trying to predetermine what it should be!

    So glad you linked-up at Michelle’s today!

  8. Hi Tracey, I came back here to read your lovely post again, and found that the comment I thought I’d left this morning wasn’t here. Perhaps I never hit “post comment?” Or maybe you have comment moderation. In any case, I just want to reiterate how much I loved and appreciated your words here. They were an encouragement both to me and to my college aged daughter. Thank you!

    1. Sorry with the time difference you comment was waiting in my box for moderation while I slept! Thanks so much for your encouragement. Its been fund to see how God has been speaking to everyone in their blogs.

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